Anal Eroticism is surrounded by a powerful taboo. Yet millions of
men and women - straight, gay and bisexual - are experimenting
with anal sex. The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and
interconnected with the main pelvic muscles, is the closest
erogenous neighbor of the genitals and contracts rhythmically
during orgasm. Thirty-five years ago, Kinsey stated that the anal
region had erotic significance for about half of the population.
In a survey of 100,000 Playboy readers, 47 percent of the men and
61 percent of the women admitted to having tried anal
intercourse.
Yet the anal taboo inhibits most people from thinking, talking
and learning about the sexual use of the anus. Listed here are
the ten things most men and women still do not know about anal
sex.
There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. The most common
techniques include touching the anal opening while masturbating
or stimulating a partner's anus during intercourse or oral sex.
Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger - their own or a
lover's - insinuated into their anal opening and gently rotated.
Others may prefer the insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the
anal opening and short anal canal into the larger rectum. Many
men, including heterosexuals, prefer this form of penetration.
Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as rimming. The very idea
disgusts some people. Others enjoy performing it or allowing
themselves to be probed in this special way.
The belief that anal stimulation, especially intercourse, has to
hurt is a persistent and dangerous myth. Just as pain anywhere in
the body indicates that something is wrong, so is the same true
of the anal area. With its high concentration of nerve endings,
the anus can produce extreme agony when it is mistreated. Yet it
can be a source of great pleasure.
When a finger, object or penis is introduced into the anus, the
anal muscles go into spasm, as if fighting off an invasion. Pain
will result if the partners do not wait for these muscles to
relax. Under sufficient stress they will eventually collapse and
the pain subside, unless further damage is done. But, any
'pleasure' afforded from this kind of activity derives mostly
from the absence of discomfort.
Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or
physical trauma from the anal experience. Self-protection on the
part of the passive partner involves being ready to say "no"
until he or she is ready to proceed. Readiness is a combination
of physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty of
leisurely anal touching, and desire.
Occasionally the anal muscles are relaxes, but the passive
partner is still not in the mood. Stimulation should mount only
in proportion to the degree of receptivity.
Sufficient desire alone does not necessarily guarantee
pleasurable anal sex. Nor is an uncomfortable previous experience
always the reason for a lack of interest in or desire for anal
sex.
Chronic anal tension is the most common cause of anal discomfort
during sex. Hemorrhoids and constipation are usually a sign of
this condition. Tension can be relieved by touching the anus and
becoming more familiar with it. An ideal time to explore the anal
opening is while taking a shower or bath. Deep breathing also
affects the anal muscles. Tensing the anus and the letting go in
another way of learning to relax it. Anyone who enjoys
masturbation might want to experiment with some form of anal
stimulation, though he or she should stop if any discomfort
occurs.
For many people the turning point in anal sex is when they allow
a partner to massage the anus with the understanding that
intercourse will not be attempted. Then the recipient of anal
caresses can concentrate solely on the pleasure that this
erogenous zone is capable of generating.
If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and
press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the
two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between
them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous
system - just like the muscles of the hand, for example. You can
readily tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want.
The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is
controlled by the involuntary or autonomic part of the nervous
system, which governs such functions as heartbeat and stress
response.
The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety
during anal sex. It will cause the anus to tense up automatically
even if the passive partner is trying to relax. Thus, precautions
about safety and comfort are essential here.
Even if a person does feel comfortable during anal sex, he or she
may still need to learn voluntary control over his or her
internal sphincter in order to relax it at will. Doing so
requires regularly inserting a finger, perhaps in the shower each
day, and feeling the internal sphincter. The muscle changes
spontaneously and in response to behavior. In this instance,
simply paying attention is more important than trying to relax.
Anyone can gradually learn to control the internal sphincter at
will.
The highest concentration of nerve endings is around the anal
opening itself. A finger can focus on them especially
effectively. When an object or penis is inserted beyond the anal
opening into the rectum, other pleasures are involved. The outer
portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several nerve
endings. The inner portion responds mostly to pressure.
Some people enjoy the feelings of pressure and fullness once they
understand that these sensations do not presage an impending
bowel movement. Rectal pressure is especially important to
enthusiasts of "fisting," a form of anal sex in which several
fingers or even the entire hand and forearm are inserted into the
rectum and sometimes into the lower colon.
In men, the prostate - which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few
inches in, towards the front of the body - can be a source of
pleasure when massaged by a finger, an object, or a penis. Also,
the lower end of the penis, or "bulb," is near the anal opening.
It is stimulated indirectly by most types of anal sex.
Anal pleasure can be psychological as well as physical. The anal
taboo adds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most common
anti-anal message (it's dirty!) sometimes returns as a source of
raunchy, sleazy excitement. Rimming enthusiasts may enjoy the
feeling that they are being disgustingly - and delightfully -
perverse. Other people regard the anus as a secret, special
place. Sharing it with a partner is an act of openness and
giving.
A minority of men and women can respond orgasmically to anal sex
without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through
pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority even though the
sheer excitement of being anally penetrated. When men experience
an orgasm from anal stimulation, they tend to focus on the
prostate. No doubt they are also responding to indirect
stimulation of the penile bulb.
Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the
participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and
fantasies. An almost certain way to prevent such an orgasm is to
be become determined to have one. Seeking an anal orgasm will
create new pressures and disrupt the pleasure.
It must be remembered that most people require direct genital
stimulation in order to climax. On the other hand, a few people
have orgasms only with anal stimulation.
Regular bowel movements are the major function of the anus and rectum. There must be sufficient fiber in a person's diet to make his or her feces soft, bulky and well formed. This allows a bowel movement to be produced without force or effort. Forced evacuations irritate anal tissues, causing discomfort and adding to muscular tensions. Fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains or unprocessed bran are important sources of fiber.
Since intercourse can be vaginal or rectal, many people assume
the same rules apply for the penetration of the vagina and
rectum. Although both are lined with soft tissue and are capable
of expanding, they are radically dissimilar.
The rectum is not straight. After the short anal canal which
connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward
the front of the body. A few inches in, it curves back -
sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few more inches,
it swoops toward the front of the body once again. A person can
learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a
soft object, trying different angles and body positions and
concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared
base so that if you loose your grip, it won't slip into the
rectum and become irretrievable.
The rectum does not produce lubrication like the vagina but only
a small amount of mucus. Therefore, rectal penetration always
requires a lubricant. Chemical additives should be avoided.
Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible.
The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for
feces. But feces are not normally stored in the rectum except
just prior to a bowel movement. Yet small amounts may remain in
the rectum, especially if the feces are not well formed. Anal
douching before lovemaking will help some people especially
concerned with cleanliness to relax. For others the idea of
dirtiness heightens the joy of the forbidden; for them, douching
is anti-erotic.
The top-bottom imagery associated with anal intercourse is
widespread. No doubt the belief that anal sex has to hurt
contributes to this notion. And in fact some people are intensely
excited by top-bottom fantasies about anal sex. The thought that
they are submitting to such a degrading act is a terrific thrill.
However, actual, not fantasized, anal pain can lead to trouble.
For others, the enjoyment of anal sex is inhibited by top-bottom
imagery. The idea of surrendering control, and perhaps submitting
to humiliation, causes immediate, protective tensing of the anal
muscles. These individuals are more likely to relax and enjoy
themselves if they can learn to regard anal sex as pleasurable
rather than as an expression of power.
The taboo against anal eroticism is perpetuated by the almost
universal belief among physicians that anal sex is inevitably
dangerous. No physical injury from anal stimulation results if
both partners refuse to tolerate pain, never use force and avoid
the use of drugs.
All the other risks center on sexually transmitted diseases. Each
of the common STDs - gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes - can affect
the anus. Intestinal parasites, bacteria or tiny bugs are usually
passed along when fecal matter finds its way into someone's mouth
or vagina, most likely through rimming.
AIDS has complicated the matter. The HIV virus can pass from the
semen or blood of an infected person to the bloodstream of a
partner through a tiny break in the rectal tissue during anal
intercourse.
To avoid this risk, anal intercourse and rimming should not be
practiced casually. Those who do enjoy anal intercourse should
always use a condom. Rimming should always be accomplished by a
latex barrier. Of course, in a monogamous relationship with two
healthy people, the risk of disease transmitted anally is
reduced.
Thousands of men and women with chronic anal medical problems
have restored their anal health by challenging their negative
attitudes. This approach is indispensible for full erotic
enjoyment of the anus.