Fisting 101

safety and "how to" tips

This is a basic primer on fisting, including tips on how to do it and some important safety reminders. Once you've read this you may also want to visit the page on "anal sex" mentioned at the end of this article.

What is "fisting"?

Everyone (well, almost everyone) knows what finger-fucking is. Whether in ass or pussy, it's terrifically enjoyable to stroke someone inside. (Fingers up a man's ass, if aimed properly, will tickle his prostate gland, which feels AMAZINGLY good... just a little tip!) And people are generally comfortable with the idea of finger-fucking with more than one finger. But not as many people have been exposed to the idea of inserting a _whole hand_ into the ass or pussy... which is, in simplest terms, what fisting is. Yes, it's anatomically possible, and yes, it's EXTREMELY pleasurable. (I haven't experienced it, save vicariously.)

That said, it's now very important to explain what fisting is _not_. You do _not_ make a fist and ram it home. Fisting is one of the most intimate and complete ways to touch another human being, and it is something that has to be worked up to slowly and gently. There have been many posts about fisting on s.s.b-b, talking about the proper technique, the safety concerns, the fantastic feeling of openness and connection, the magical plane that two people fisting can attain... it's an incredibly intense way to make love. I can't do justice to the firsthand descriptions others have written, but I can mention some of the safety concerns.

Some safety issues

First of all, cut and file all your nails until every finger is as smooth as it could _possibly_ be. Your fingers will be in some very delicate places -- places that may not have pain receptors. You want to make sure you minimize all chance of causing damage.

Use latex gloves. AIDS is a matter of life and death.

You will probably want to clean your bottom's GI tract out. What else are enemas for? Be gentle with enemas; warm water is best. Don't use detergent in enemas. Some people enjoy putting alcohol (booze, not rubbing alcohol!) in enemas; if you do, use a VERY VERY VERY DILUTED solution, since it will get absorbed _real_ fast, and the bottom won't be able to expel it if they get too drunk. (I don't know a precise dosage, since this seems a bit too risky for me.)

Okay, now how do you do it?

Use LOTS (and I mean __LOTS__) of lube. Push it in with your fingers. Make a huge mess. Get it all over your hand, the back of your hand, between your fingers. Keep applying it as you go. You can't have too much lube. (And remember, oil-based lubricants dissolve latex). Some people like KY jelly; others say it dries out too quickly. In the UK, a substance called "Aqueous Cream" is the creme de la creme. Others use "J-Lube," which is a powdered concentrate that when added to water produces incredibly slippery goo; it's sold in veterinary supply houses! (Some people still use Crisco with latex gloves, on the theory that the Crisco is just the best lube, and the gloves don't break down _that_ fast. This is risky, but it's an option.)

Go slowly. Start with one finger and work up. DON'T RUSH. Be sensitive to your bottom's feelings. You are trying to persuade part of their body to open for you, to admit part of you deeply inside it. The energy will move back and forth, and you'll ride it, coaxing and pushing, in and out, moving your bottom into a trance. Keep communicating with your bottom; gags, or role-playing where the bottom feels inferior or is told to stay quiet, may not be conducive to the kind of relaxation and open empathy you'll probably need if this is a first time.

If your bottom suddenly hits their limit, you'll know; their orifice will clench tight shut suddenly. DON'T PULL OUT. Stay right where you are until the contraction ends, THEN start pulling out. You can pull a muscle or two if you try to back out in the middle of a reaction like that. If this happens, it's OK; you'll know to go slower next time (if you both want to try again). But assuming all is well...

When you reach five fingers, you're almost there. Now is when you want to be most sensitive and most aware. Your bottom is going to be flying on pain and pleasure; a sudden flinch and you'll find the asshole or vagina doesn't want you anymore. Respect that, and pull out (slowly!). But if your bottom's bottom wants it, then you'll slip your knuckles inside, folding your thumb *inside* your fingers, and (so I've been told) your hand will NATURALLY form a fist -- you DON'T need to clench your hand or anything else! (Note: be careful with your nails as you form a fist).

Now the real fun begins... explore, entice, pleasure your bottom, who will be in heaven... and when it comes time to pull out, do so slowly and naturally!

If you haven't read the previous page on "Anal Sex" you may want to look that over too. We're interested in adding more to this section so if you'd like to contribute an article or experience related to these topics just send a message to one of our email addresses on the menubar.

Based on materials written by Rob Jellinghaus;
© 2000; republished here with his permission;
see the Contributors page for contact links.